how NOT to work in my lab (archived from LabSpaces)

originally posted (with content) 25 Oct 2010

UPDATED WITH ACTUAL CONTENT!!!

So, some of you may have been confused when earlier today this post went live without any content*. D’OH!


Gerty realizes she posted a blank

 

I totally fucked up and didn’t even know it until I powered up my trusty iPhone early in the morning while I had some coffee before I went out for my run. At that point I coudn’t make the empty post disappear, so I headed out on the trails for my super-awesome, super-soggy run (WOO HOO!). When I got done I had just enough time to scrub the mud off my legs before the crazy day of toddler fun with Mini-G. I managed to take down the blank, but couldn’t put anything in its place. Sorry!
Of course, I had some great shit to put here, too! Fucking nuggets of wisdom, I tell ya! And I can’t withold the good shit any longer. So, without further ado:

Gerty-Z’s surefire plan to NOT work in my any lab
1. If you are an undergrad, please PLEASE make sure to contact me for the first time the day before the add-drop deadline. Make it clear that if you can’t do research for credit that you won’t get student aid this semester. Mention that I am YOUR LAST HOPE and YOU HAVE A FAMILY TO SUPPORT.

2. If I don’t immediately (< 3 h) answer your email, a great idea is to just come by lab

3. signing off an email with 😉 is always a winner (srsly, wtf?)

4. If you are a prospective postdoc, mention that you are interested in working with me because “you like PCR”

5. Avoid reading any publications from my or anyone in my field. In fact, it is best if you are not sure what field I am in.

6. Be convinced I work on “human disease”

7. or, as Biochem Belle noticed: don’t show up*! Especially if you have sent me at least 5 emails trying to schedule a meeting.

 

Hope you all had a super weekend!

 

*the first two comments are from the un-post, for your entertainment

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About gerty-z

scientist, mom, runner, beverage lover
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